Tarot Reader

Me: Hi. I’m Arcane and I’m a Tarot Reader.
– Everyone gathers around in oooh and ahhs as I pull out a deck of cards.
Random Girl: Isn’t that going to summon demons?
Random Guy: When am I going to die?
Random Girl: But you are a guy.
Dog: Woof, Woof.
Me: The devil card… so much indulgence. Death brings about changes and surprises. There are tons of wands in this deck. I can assure you mine will not interfere with my reading abilities. Someone give that dog a treat. It understands my soul.