Contradictions

I am contradictory.

I grow tired of talking. I want to sit in comfortable silence and not have to share my feelings in words and phrases that have been used so many times before. I want to be where the wind is gentle and the world is silent.

Yet I want to express my every emotion and thought in words that resonate and mean something to someone. I want to sit on the shore where the wind batters my skin and drowns out the sounds of the world to a dull roar.

I want quiet and peace yet I want to sing and scream. I want to write it all down in beautiful script, though I also want to tear the pages from the spine and burn them. I can’t be satisfied. I can’t find the right thing at the right time. I contradict everything and so I keep trying. I’ll keep trying to get it all out.