Instead of confining yourself to expectations of what your ingredients should be and what conditions your spell must be done in think of spell work the way a little kid would.
When we were six, eight blades of grass and some concentration was enough. Why isn’t it now?It’s okay for it to be low effort and virtually expense free. It’s okay if it’s playful. It’s okay if you have low spoons and this is the most effort you can give.
Remember that six year old you would not have judged you.
Remember that the universe didn’t judge your impromptu magic when you were little.
You’ve set these standards for yourself but that doesn’t mean they are necessary.
You will still be loved and accepted.
Your magic will still be effective.