hellboundwitch:

Sometimes when I find myself feeling less than everyone else, I make a list. I ask, “What is it exactly that’s going to make you feel like you’re just as good of a witch/pagan/diviner/writer/person as whoever it is you’re so jealous of? What do they have that you don’t?”

I try to be specific, and not delve too deeply into my own melodrama.

Usually at least half of those things are completely irrelevant to my life and my practice. Like, yes Jasmine, you could have a better working knowledge of woolly mammoth reproductive cycles, but…why do you need that? What good will it do you? And do you even WANT to understand Thelema, Jay? Really?

So then I let those things go.

Other things are sometimes qualities or skills I already have but I’m downplaying them, either out of insecurity or because they don’t fit into my current narrative of how terrible I am at everything. 

I cross those off the list too.

So whatever is left, I just keep asking myself…would this actually help me? Would this really make me better? Do I want to do this?

If I decided that, yeah, actually, it makes total sense for me to understand the history of magical and medical herbalism, and that would benefit me and my path…then I can actually go pursue that idea. Instead of crying that everyone else but me has already done it and they’re so great and I’m so awful.

And by that point, what I’m doing, I’m doing for me. Not for anyone else. Which feels so much better.