sleepydryad: Materials: salt Throw salt at your intended target and say, “Stay the fuck away from me.” If it doesn’t work the first time, repeat and aim for the eyes.
Tag Archives: witchy humor
nightaholic4566: Teach your children about crystals, they won’t have money for drugs.
lotuseatingwitch: me: I need a motivation spell also me: *no motivation to look up the motivation spell*
deer-rib: Witchcraft • guess I get to vacuum again • these wax bits are important • my nails are feirce but I can’t shuffle my tarot cards • 10% of the herbs actually made it into the tiny jar • this rock is important • my plants have names • and personalities • purse andContinue reading
hippiebirdmom: them: so you’re a witch, right? me: yeah them: do you do divination with like chicken bones and stuff? me: sure. go get me a bucket of chicken my friend: *whispers* you’ve never used chicken bones for that me: shut up! you want free food or not?
Married to a Witch
Me: *drying out apple seeds* Me: Don’t worry, these are for spell jars, not poisoning you. Husband: Why did you have to say it like that?
badwitchtips: call me a necromancer bc i just raised a meme from the dead Source: badwitchtips
Person: are you a good witch or a bad witch? Me:(thinks for a moment) Meh (hand wiggle)
flicker-wrote-these: “so you’re a witch now?” she asked. “yeah,” i said. “so what do you do?” i stopped and thought for a moment. “mostly,” i said honestly, “i just hope really hard.”
Me, a kitchen witch: Measurements? What are measurements? Just throw that shit in there. You, neither a kitchen nor a witch: Are you talking about cooking or witchcraft? Me: BOTH. I DON’T FUCKING CARE
Amethyst's Archive 